Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can't put those talents on a resume
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
