Your tits are I can't wait for
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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