do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
