Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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