Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
