We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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