We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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