Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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