I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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