she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
