I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
