I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
