everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Its about making memories worth repressing
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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