We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
