I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
