Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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