are you still at the devil's house?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
