It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
