And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just made out with a guy for $7.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
