I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
