Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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