nut hugger
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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