you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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