Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
