I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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