if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
