We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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