i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize