lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
