And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
