I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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