i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We need to feng shui this bitch.
soo... how was my night?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
