Don't you send me to vm
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
