hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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