Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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