no. you can't hotbox the world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
