I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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