dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
