So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
