What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
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I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
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I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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