I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were trust falling into bushes
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
