He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
