No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
