So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
