Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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