like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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