YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
