Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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