Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
