I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize