I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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