A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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