I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
