I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
