We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
