WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in