I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.