I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.