Texts From Last Night

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  (979): View more from Texas

  I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar

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  (979): I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar http://tfl.nu/uc7h
  Replies (53) Good night (4056) Bad night (946)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  school has made you so classy.

  (514): View more from Quebec

  that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.

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  (780): school has made you so classy. (514): that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884. http://tfl.nu/r8mz
  Replies (45) Good night (4316) Bad night (759)
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  (949): View more from California

  dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt

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  (949): dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt http://tfl.nu/6eac
  Replies (42) Good night (969) Bad night (6665)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

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  (832): I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice. http://tfl.nu/6cq1
  Replies (9) Good night (1916) Bad night (7144)
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  (707): View more from California

  He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.

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  (707): He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie. http://tfl.nu/yx94
  Replies (6) Good night (3056) Bad night (1367)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...

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  (617): And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not... http://tfl.nu/7o3n
  Replies (13) Good night (1105) Bad night (3695)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.

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  (360): Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever. http://tfl.nu/hma8
  Replies (23) Good night (2874) Bad night (811)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia

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  (618): I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia http://tfl.nu/cd4j
  Replies (6) Good night (580) Bad night (1354)
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  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.

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  (619): Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop. http://tfl.nu/mw0u
  Replies (0) Good night (973) Bad night (448)
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  (626): View more from California

  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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  (626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (576)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.

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  (540): Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents. http://tfl.nu/vksy
  Replies (11) Good night (562) Bad night (971)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha

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  (228): Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha http://tfl.nu/vrbu
  Replies (2) Good night (687) Bad night (357)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.

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  (217): Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill. http://tfl.nu/rrda
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (582)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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  (203): Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard http://tfl.nu/pmzn
  Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (449)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?

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  (602): We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition? http://tfl.nu/5rjg
  Replies (5) Good night (808) Bad night (322)

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