Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(281): View more from Texas

I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

Fav 9 864 1281
share tweet
(662): View more from Mississippi

Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

(901): View more from Tennessee

BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that

Fav 26 2198 4498
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet

Fav 12 9491 1510
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.

Fav 17 4666 2355
share tweet
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.

Fav 16 3202 1866
share tweet
(509): View more from Washington

Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

Fav 3 1434 1698
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

Fav 13 3027 1126
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

soon, soon....

(908): View more from New Jersey

I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....

Fav 4 1177 866
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.

Fav 0 194 137
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT