Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?

(248): View more from Michigan

oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.

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(248): so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right? (248): oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left. http://tfl.nu/uut9

Replies (2) Good night (727) Bad night (1153)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

doesn't he have a GF?

(248): View more from Michigan

that just means you have to try harder.

(248): View more from Michigan

i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...

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(808): doesn't he have a GF? (248): that just means you have to try harder. (248): i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or... http://tfl.nu/1qgm

Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (572)
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(561): View more from Florida

I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.

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(561): I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone. http://tfl.nu/li7n

Replies (10) Good night (2314) Bad night (524)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.

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(717): just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high. http://tfl.nu/38z6

Replies (24) Good night (4349) Bad night (1022)
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(845): View more from New York

Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.

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(845): Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere. http://tfl.nu/7gle

Replies (22) Good night (6451) Bad night (1435)
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(269): View more from Michigan

its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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(269): its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot" http://tfl.nu/fb26

Replies (11) Good night (5131) Bad night (881)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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(512): I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub. http://tfl.nu/cojk

Replies (7) Good night (6153) Bad night (1185)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...

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(704): You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that... http://tfl.nu/s4gm

Replies (10) Good night (2375) Bad night (992)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

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(601): there are ass prints on the hood of my car. http://tfl.nu/hwv7

Replies (10) Good night (3058) Bad night (1006)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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(501): So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again. http://tfl.nu/au9d

Replies (15) Good night (1279) Bad night (3183)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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(781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3

Replies (12) Good night (2062) Bad night (659)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

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(248): Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market. http://tfl.nu/wxnm

Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (1330)
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(316): View more from Kansas

At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!

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(316): At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/842p

Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (1318)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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(336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs

Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (682)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.

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(570): I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen. (1-570): T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met. http://tfl.nu/8lnr

Replies (3) Good night (282) Bad night (642)

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