I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize