no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
